How To Choose Your Bridesmaids Without Hurting Feelings

How To Choose Your Bridesmaids Without Hurting Feelings

Before picking out the perfect bridesmaid dresses, first you have to choose your bridesmaids to figure out who will be wearing them! Although one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning, deciding on your bridal party can also be one of the hardest decisions you make. How do you avoid hurting a friend who you decide will not be in your bridal party? Your bridal party will not only be those you choose to have closest to you during this next chapter of your life, but they will play a huge role in happenings leading up to the wedding. Decisions, decisions, decisions! But, we’ve got you covered – here are some helpful tips to consider that will help you choose your bridesmaids with the least amount of drama.

Think long-term

It is so important to choose your bridesmaids from people who have played an important role in your life so far, and will remain just as special to you in the future. Ask yourself some questions, like who will be at your 50th birthday? Who will your future children consider their “auntie”? And who are you including maybe just because you were in their wedding? Finalize a list and reflect on it for at least a week before you ask! Don’t stress, most friends will understand and appreciate how challenging this decision is.

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Don't let potential maids find out from someone else

Once you have made your decision, you may already have a certain friend in mind that may have been expecting a different outcome. If a conversation is necessary, take her out for coffee and break the news. She will feel a lot less hurt finding out directly from you rather than through the grapevine, or even worse, on social media.

Keep explanations simple (if you are asked to give one)

Be careful not to over-explain or make excuses for why she is not in the wedding party. Address the issue, but do not spend too much time discussing it, as this will only make it a bigger problem. Be thoughtful and sensitive, let her know that she is still an important part of your life and wedding day.

Ask her to be involved in your wedding in another way

Sometimes circumstances preclude you from having someone you love dearly in your wedding party, but they can absolutely still play a special role in your big day. Invite her to the rehearsal dinner, bring her along to a cake tasting, ask her to say a speech at the ceremony or acknowledge her in a toast – there are tons of simple, yet impactful ways to include all of the important ladies in your life.

 Once you have finalized your bridal party and addressed those who will not be a part of it, try not to dwell on the situation. As long as you are mindful of other’s feelings, it is likely others will respect yours too. We hope that these tips will be helpful for you when you choose your bridesmaids!


Happy Planning!